Violent control is at the heart of modern parenting. It's counter-productive, harmful, and unethical in my estimation. My wife and I only recently abandoned violent parenting, opting instead for loving, gentle guidance, and we've found nothing but confirmation every day since.
"When one person tries to control another, you can always expect some kind of reaction from the controllee. The use of power involves two people in a special kind of relationship - one wielding power, and the other reacting to it.
This seemingly obvious fact is not usually dealt with in the writings of the dare-to-discipline advocates. Invariably, they leave the child out of the formula, omitting any reference to how the youngster reacts to the control of his or her parents or teachers." - Thomas Gordon, Ph.D., read the rest.